I can't believe it.... November already

Is it just me or did this year just fly right by? Time is such a delicate thing. We are all here on limited time, and in that time we have so many wishes and dreams to accomplish. What are your dreams? What are your wishes? Outside of what has to be done... What is it that makes your heart happy? Make time for these things! It's so important. This is our fuel. Don't ever feel bad for needing to fuel your soul! If you're anything like me, being a people pleaser and giving fuel to my soul don't come hand in hand, and maybe it shouldn't. We need to put ourselves first, than others. Helping others fuels my heart but there has to be limitations so you or I don't get burnt out.
When we get burnt out we start acting out of character and this is when mistakes can be made, and we all know mistakes have consequences. I can think of times I've been overly stressed, and then I over compensate and do something irresponsible, to make up for the deficit I'm feeling. I hope this blog can motivate you to look within and take an inventory of what makes you drive, and do just that!
We each have a beautiful fire within us, don't let any force in that tries to extinguish your fire. Search for those that support or ignite that!
Thanks for reading

Juggling on a balance beam

My life often feels like a 3 ring circus, and since I'm going to be accountable, I will own the reality that I create this circus.To top it off I'm so hard on myself and the expectations I have of what I can get done I take my circus and get on that balance beam. Trying to make it all happen. The craft mom, gourmet chef, health freak, active humanitarian, church going, top employee, sister, friend, daughter, I can't even breathe because the list goes on and on. That sounds crazy doesn't it. I mean think about it, back in the 50's when women stayed home with the kids and had dinner made by the time their husband came home, they didn't run a taxi service they ran nightly to and from sports, the pressure from a long day at work, responsibility for the checks and balances. It is easy to look on social media and feel down about everything you're not doing, because you are watching glorified specialties in your face. I have come to realize everyone has issues, and struggles, and we are all going to put our best foot forward and only our best foot to others. So today I breathe, knowing I'm doing the best I can, and I'm doing a pretty good job, and I bet you too are. We need to live in the reality that we are doing the best we can, considering each of our circumstances. Thanks for reading.

Back at it.

I've been wanting to get back to blogging for awhile now. I have had so much going on, I really didn't know where to start. I didn't feel I was in a good place to have others read my thoughts, or that anyone person out there could possibly relate to my predicament, because lets face it, I really have done it this time. However, after pondering and reflecting I decided that being in this vulnerable spot would create a footprint for me. Something to come back and look to after I go through this journey I've set out on. So tonight I start with this, I sit here vulnerable, not knowing what the future holds, what relationships I will grow with or apart from. I question myself so many times it's unreal. It's as if I have two different sides to me. The values I was brought up with, and the current me, who I've become and I struggle between the two. I want to put my foot down and say I will not tolerate certain things, yet my core values teach me that family is everything and I need to endure the toxic relationships, it is a part of the package. Recently I have found the courage through my life coach and some of my closest confidants to take this step to distance myself from toxic relationships. This has not been easy, as my guilt has weighed so heavily that it can be hard to breathe at times, but here I am, breathing...
I'm hurt because of the consequences that comes with cutting off certain toxic relationships. In my relam it means severing one of the healthiest, strongest relationships, and that is devastating. But here I am with two questions... What can you live with? What can you leave behind? I'm still figuring this out. Until next time, but I promise next time won't be as long.

Numbering our Days

It is an interesting concept to imagine our life as a time limit. But really we all have a certain amount of time allotted to us. If we can value our time, and live as those that are in hospice, that are actually told they had a certain amount of time left, what would we change? I have read a few of books about time management, and lived through my Franklin Covey planner. I can confidently describe myself as a productive person. I have accomplished a few things, such as a degree in health care, written some scripts, and more importantly I'm a proud mother with a child that has a busier schedule than me :) But if you look at my life, I'm just running.
I knew there was a problem when I would have to cut out early from one commitment only to be late to the next. Leave early from one, be late to the next, repeatedly. I have created anxiety on the daily basis trying to do a whole lot of nothing. If everything is important, nothing is important. I mean doesn't that make sense? How can everything be important? If my sons baseball game is important to me so I rush from work, as I eat in my car, to make it for the 2nd inning and then take out my iPhone, and I'm trying to be a good sister, daughter, friend and so on by answering all these messages I have missed throughout the day, I look up and its the last inning and I missed his awesome play at third base, is my son's game really important? Who am I giving my full attention to? No one, if everyone is important, no one is important.
I have learned recently that health is freedom and that should never be taken for granted, and although my days are not literally numbered it's such an eye opener to see this race we are all apart of. People-when you are eating meals in your car, on your phone at dinner, working when you shouldn't be, and so on, STOP, for a moment, Just stop and create a breathing room. Prioritize so you can create a cushion. Live the life you want to live and honor your dreams.

Doing whats good for YOU!

Every time I think of working out or exercising it would be depressing, it was such an uncomfortable feeling. But today I decided to give it a go, I made the choice because I did not want to feel any worse any more, I wanted to get out of the zone I was in. I'm so happy I went. I know it was a small run but for me it was so much more than that. The coolest part was I had a partner to do it with, the best partner of all, my son! He was riding his scooter and I was jogging along side him, we have decided it was so much fun we are going to make this a routine! It was great to be outside, not only physically but emotionally too. We all know what is good for us: for some it can be picking up an instrument, going for a jog, reading a good book, doing some yoga, whatever it may be. I really hope you are going to do something that is good for you the first chance you get, because you deserve it. We have to suffer enough with the daily struggles, and no one will care for you like you can! So just do it, whatever you want to do, go for it! Thanks for reading!!

Reflection

Sometimes things in life don't make sense or seem fair, we try so hard to justify, argue, hide from the truth. But most times it's right there in front of us. We like to make excuses for circumstances, because it seems easier to accept that we didn't deserve such an event. However I've realized instead of listening to other people's excuses or your hearts justification, just look for what is really going on, the fact, the actions, the proof. Put your emotions aside. Don't enable yourself or others. Look at the facts! Look at the results. Where do you want to be, where are you going. Are you on your way? If the problem is you, If you have made mistakes- push forward. The only way to redeem yourself is to learn from your mistakes. No one is perfect and no one is worthy to judge you other than God. So don't believe others opinions of you, there reflection of you is a reflection of themselves. We live in a difficult world where our best doesn't all ways cut it, but look forward because it's all about progression not instant results. Progress will bring success.
Shiela

Ready.Set.Wait I'm not ready!

I know this feeling all to familiar. I have come to start my own blog many times. But I never actually get the courage to do so. In fear that it wouldn't be good enough, or it wouldn't interest anyone. Then I got to thinking more about this feeling. I realized this is not just my fear with this blog, but in life many times I face this fork where I find myself often times not quitting before I feel I could fail. I'm sure someone out there can relate.
We develop such an anxious feeling about our work that we become our worst critique. So I wanted to start my first blog on just that. My fear of failing. The feeling that my time, energy, and effort may not be good enough. But when I write this, I see how silly that is, because the real failure would be not trying. I think of it as a lotto. This may not be the blog that will bring me any followers, but if I make this my habit, eventually I will get better and better at it, and then I will hit my own personal jackpot. My goal from here forward is to TRY, no matter what. Under any circumstance. Just try! If for nothing else to just have the experience. I hope I could motivate you today to try something you have wanted to do that you have hesitated because of fear or any reason. I believe you can do it! So together lets just try!